Some of what we’ve been told: Marriage & porters
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Anyone who has known me for a few years has probably come across ‘am Nour, my porter, a sixty-year-old Nubian who lives in the room downstairs. I have known ‘am Nour long before my Thursday nights out at Applebee’s and the Grand Cafe. I grew up listening to people talk about the power of the Egyptian porters, parents talking about how we should protect our whereabouts from being the porters’ topic for the day and teenagers believing that their future in-laws will ask their neighboring porters about whether or not they make a suitable wife.
My exposure to such unreasonable, false beliefs has made me question the credibility of some of what I’ve been told. It would be unfair to generalize, because believing in the importance of family, being good to the less privileged and the importance of choosing a field of study we’re passionate about are undoubtedly qualities we are all thankful to have been taught. But when the list of beliefs goes on to include the imaginary countdown created by a society that pushes girls my age into tying the knot, not to mention the necessity of inviting the second cousin of the aunt who was once married to my uncle to the wedding, I feel the need to pause, to say no.
Marriage, a beautiful concept in essence, seems a responsibility too huge for an average college student to bear. Our lives, simply put, are a bunch of phases tied together with a thread. Be it silk or wool, this thread is probably the only thing that travels with us throughout those memorable, bumpy phases. It could be the only thing that remains constant during the years until our thirties. Regardless, the date set to stop fooling around, settle down and reach stability should be left relative. I find it hard to believe that at twenty-something, girls are able to know what they want for “as long as they shall live,” and accordingly, find someone who wants the same.
People change, you and me included. But these changes are hard to predict, which makes it impossible for us to know what we’ll be like a year from now. Think back a couple of years to when you first entered college, or back to when you were in your senior year of high school: do you hang out with the same people and listen to the same music? Do you even hang out in the same places? Although such activities may seem trivial, they are usually a strong indication of the phase people are in. Clearly, change is an inevitable process that may take you by surprise.
So many experiences to go through, countless opportunities within reach, and all we do is make babies at 20-something and worry about what the humble porter has to say.